I need to sleep but yet I am awake.

I want to eat but yet I am full.

I need to study but yet I can't past a sentence.

I want to stop but yet I go on.

I want silence but the noise goes on.

I want to cry but yet I smile.

I want to laugh but yet I tear.

I want to breathe but yet I suffocate.

I want to understand but yet I get confused.

I want to tell people how I am displeased with them but yet they can't seem to hear.

I do not have enough time but yet I do not want more of it.

I want to run but yet I fall.

I want to learn but yet I want to teach.

I want to remember but yet I forget.

I want to forget but yet I remember.

I need to heal but yet I hurt.

I want to talk but yet I am quiet.

I need to rest but yet I am toiling.

I need strength but yet weak times multiply.

I need peace but yet there is chaos.

I need comfort but yet I cannot be anxious.

I want hugs but yet there are no hands.

I want freedom but yet I am bound.

I want to cheer on but yet I lost my voice.

Finally, I want to go home.... but yet the journey is thus far....

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul, He guides me on the path of righteousness, for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. -Psalms 23

P.S: a HUG anyone?

[FEELING : silly]
[LISTENING TO : Jamie Cullum's Twenty Something :)]

Posted by nealee at 09:22 AM | spoilers?

I haven't really got the time to think of a good thing to write about. This is an unwinding session from my claustrophobic feeling of being stuck at home most of the time alone. My mock is in a week's time. What should unfold today, at my beloved, quiet retreating spot? How about the new things I did in the past week? Right, then! Let's begin...

First things first (non-literal meaning)

1. Called Streamyx to inquire about error 391. Got it settled.

2. Ate a RM 9.90 Japanese set lunch.

3. Ate at Scarlet Fine Cuisine - highly NOT recommended. The price is through the roof for yucky food.

4. Visited Eastin Hotel.

5. Ate bread and butter pudding and wonderful new dishes.

6. Changed computer speakers - involved some acrobatic activities.

7. Installed a woofer, dvd player and mini speakers that no one uses into my room. 

8. Tried spicy Mcnuggets - not bad.

9. Listened to Mozart, Beethoven and Vivaldi.

10. Made coffee with whisked milk.

11. Discovered MPH Reader's Circle. My after exam's second home..

12. Heard Jamie Cullum's I Could Have Danced All Night.

13. Saw a horse poop on the beach.

14. Roses.

[FEELING : silly]

Posted by nealee at 07:44 PM | 4 spoilers

I reread my content page on christian inspirations, some of which I wrote myself. I truly feel blessed. As no one usually goes to my content pages, I just want to post some of them here. Hope they will bless your day.

Well,the wonderful thing about life is the choices it hands you. It shows the utmost freedom, independence and individuality of a human being; in the end it is the decision of humans that determine everything, from the wrong decisions people make to the formation of law to govern and avoid social chaos which all practically sprouted from the question of choice itself. BUt being a Christian, we have the upper-hand. Not only do we know the consequences of our choices, we also know the beauty of the freedom of choice God has given us. We are very privileged because we know if we walk the way He shows us, our decisions will be right ones.

I figured a crutch can be a habit, an excuse or a fear we use to keep from standing UP ON OUR OWN.
These things help us rationalize why we can't be all we could be, why we hold back from achieving things we're capable of achieving. That which we think is holding us up may be what's keeping us from standing... so the next time you or I, me, myself feels the urge to whip up an excuse to anything... remember...  CRUTCHES!!!!!

 Sometimes God leads us down a path that makes us think we need a better travel agent... We take an unexpected turn here and climb a hill there.. We can't understand why He didn't choose the easier road we mapped for ourselves.The Israelites must be baffled when God told Josh to lead them around Jericho seven times.. (I would be..) But they trusted God.. When you think about it, it's foolish not to trust Him. We're looking at our journey one step at a time.. He's holding the map.I may not KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.. but the one i'm FOLLOWING does...

 Many are the worries in a man's heart
But God sends miraculous peace
Many are the uncertainties that one has
But God never stops showing the way
Many are the storms and rough seas we have to sail through
But God keeps us afloat with His assuring arms.
Although it sometimes seems to us
our prayers have not been heard
GOD always knows our every need
without a single word..................
And HE will not forsake us
even though the way seems steep
For he is always NEAR us
a tender watch to keep........
And in good time He'll answer us
and in His
love He'll send
Greater things than we have asked.......
and blessings without end........
Though we do not understand
why trouble comes to man
Can we not be contented
just to know that IT"S GOD's plan?            

It's a dismal, dreary morning
and as I sometimes do
I feel a little dreary and kinda downcast, too,
For let nobody tell you
that life's a "happy song"
And that we just keep smiling when everything goes wrong...
For it just would not be natural
to always wear a smile,
For a smile would be a 'silly grin'
if it covered up a trial...
For there are certain periods
when the soul is "sweetly sad"
As it contemplates the mystery
of both good times and bad...
We're not really discontented
and we are never unaware
that THE GOOD LORD UP IN HEAVEN
HAS US ALWAYS IN HIS CARE,
But the soul of man is restless....
and it just keeps longing for
A HAVEN that is safe and sure
that will last FOREVERMORE...........................
And as i sit here writing this
a thought passed through my mind-
"Why dwell on PAST or FUTURE
or WHAT'S AHEAD or GONE BEHIND?"
Just follow GOD unquestioningly
because YOU LOVE HIM SO,
For if you trust His judgement
THERE IS NOTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW!       

God, be my RESTING PLACE and MY PROTECTION
in hours of trouble, defeat and dejection........
May I never give way to self-pity and sorrow,
May I always be sure of a better tomorrow,
May I stand undaunted come what may
Secure in the knowledge I have only to pray
And ask MY CREATOR and FATHER ABOVE
To keep me secure in HIS GRACE and HIS LOVE!       

*The poems are written by Helen Steiner Rice. (Somebody Loves Me) 

[FEELING : worried]

Posted by nealee at 09:57 PM | spoilers?